Once I told a friend that I had to walk through the fire in order to even begin learning who I was. I loved my life, but it had been shattered and even though it was all I had known, I learned it was built on lots of false perceptions. I took a big deep breath and stepped into the unknown. It was terrifying but I had to take that deep dive because I wanted to find out where I belonged. I had tried being a perfect wife, mother, friend, worker, helper, but I wasn’t happy. I always fell short and I was exhausted. Tired in my bones.
With time and lots of effort, I came to understand my life and my gifts and yes, we all have gifts that we can deliver to the world. If each of us were to share our gifts in a way that made sense in our own lives, so much could change for us and others. It is with this belief, that I made a decision to offer my gifts for creating a group coaching program that is called, “Step into Your Power.” I didn’t create the name of the group, but I did design the group based on the work I’ve done to find my own power. I learned this through reading, working with wise mentors, practicing tools and methods in my own life, writing, meditating, and allowing myself to be vulnerable in ways I never thought possible. I now work on these things with my coaching clients and they are achieving their goals and moving forward rapidly in their lives. My heart is filled with joy to see them experiencing relief, peace, and authenticity in their lives.
There are no magic bullets to make this work. It is hard, scary, and pushes a person out of their comfort zone. Even so, it’s very worthwhile to tap into your own personal power. This is lifelong work but there are six steps I have identified to create a solid foundation and will be teaching these in the coaching groups that I’ll be offering. The steps are as follows:
1. Realize your potential: Identify your goals through figuring out what you really want in your life. Then determine where you want to end up from your work within your goals (outcomes). This entails accepting and embracing where you are right now in your life and then envisioning who you are and what you want for your life at your highest potential and then working on your goals at that place of highest potential (meeting your higher self).
2. Increasing focus and clarity: Since our mind often lives in the past through rumination and in the future with worry, we need to be able to become present. Being present requires us to spend more time in the here and now. To do this we need to work on ways to be mindfully present so that our mind and body can deeply connect to what we are working on. This helps us learn to let go of the past which we can’t control because it no longer exists. Further, we can fully engage in the present so that we aren’t worrying so much about what hasn’t come yet in the future. One way I like to think about this is that we can enjoy the journey and the destination will take care of itself.
3. Conquering fear: Once we get to this step, we have our goals and outcomes set and we are being more engaged in the present so we can feel safer about taking a look at our fears. Bringing our fears out to look at will begin to diminish their power. We can then create a plan of how to move past the obstacles and limiting beliefs that fear has created. As we navigate our plan, fear will no longer stop us from moving forward. We can begin to connect to our authentic self because we will be able to be more vulnerable and confident in who we are.
4. Establishing clear communication & boundaries: Being able to clearly communicate our feelings and needs without attachment to the stories we tell ourselves but rather from a place of fact and observation will create a kinder way of living. This type of communication encourages us to connect to our compassion for self and others and leads us to a more empathetic existence. We can learn to have boundaries for ourselves and others while speaking our truth. This work creates kindness and clarity in our relationships while also deepening our connection and acceptance of self and others even if their views differ from ours. Peaceful interactions can be a reality.
5. Growing your self-compassion: We must love ourselves in order to love others. Self-compassion is developed through working all of the previous steps. It’s hard for many people to love themselves because we have been taught to put others before ourselves. However, if we beat ourselves up for not being perfect or run ourselves into the ground helping others, we will not be able to share our gifts with joy. We will build resentments and feel unhappy. When we can care for ourselves fully, we will be able to happily give of ourselves and bring our gifts to the world. This piece goes beyond bubble baths and getting our nails done for a treat (although those are nice things to do for ourselves). It is more about honoring ourselves, our needs, and our truth.
6. Celebrating your uniqueness: Last but not least is being able to celebrate who we are. Being able to feel good about ourselves and not comparing ourselves to anyone else. We are as worthy and anyone of love, acceptance, and praise. Sometimes it’s hard to accept the praise of others, but we need to be able to do that and allow that to wash over us knowing that we are deserving of it. Remember that we are each unique, we are worthy, and we are beautiful just as we are.
Each of these steps to our power are much more involved than what is written here but each one requires being willing to take that first step from the very beginning. That step might be picking up a quality book to read on the topic, doing some journal writing, talking with a mentor, hiring a good coach who has worked through the hard stuff and can pass along their knowledge, or maybe even signing up for group coaching where you can have safe place of support
. Whatever you decide to do, I challenge you to take that first step scary as it might feel, and trust in the knowledge that you will come to the place you wish for and you can live the life you dream of.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Darcie Litwicki is an Integrative Life Coach that combines solid coaching skills and working with horses to create a dynamic and transformative coaching process for people to reach their personal and professional goals. She believes her clients are the experts in their own lives and that we all have the ability to reach our highest potential but sometimes we need support to get there.
Have you scheduled your free 60-minute coaching session to determine if this is a good fit for you in your life? Contact Darcie to get scheduled. You can schedule Equine Assisted Coaching In-Person Sessions at Silver Heart Ranch or sessions online (Zoom), or by phone. Darcie also offers a variety of group coaching options, workshops, and online classes. Contact her to learn more!